Sapphic Chic finally meets an ignominous debacle it can't ignore...
And no, I am not talking about the alleged "debacle" Nicole Kidman suffered at David Letterman's Late Show the other night, while ATTEMPTING to promote her movie "Australia" on the heels of the announcement that she will be NEXT portraying the unheard-of plum part of a TRANSGENDERED "woman" married to an anatomically-correct woman portrayed by CHARLIZE THERON...! Wow - Charlize and Nicole; a match made... where, exactly? On a casting couch...
It is duly noted by ALL that both actresses have won OSCARS for their portrayal of lesbian-inclined dames already; Nicole in THE HOURS (for her turn as the tormented scribe Virginia Woolf who appeared to be smitten with a lady relative; it happened to Nelligan, too, only *he* was a *boy* - duh) and Charlize won for her part in MONSTER (the appropriately-titled biopic of the sordid events in the life of an even more tormented, wacko serial killer that I shall not name - see the film if you want, I wash my hands of that monstruosity; I am not sure Christina Ricci can) and so, therefore, that reuniting them as a COUPLE now is sort of a sapphic voyeur's secret fantasy come true...!
Nor am I about to embark on a loooooong diatribe in which I'll alternatively denounce and lament the tiredness surrounding the whole "lesbian chic mystique" - since EVERYBODY is doing it, even Lindsay Lohan is allegedly involved in a lesbian relationship, Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana is seen kissing girls in mock fashion - or are they real kisses? Keep teasing us all, Miley! Billy doesn't mind; as long as you keep on having more success than he ever did - it consoles his achy breaky heart, I'm sure! Madge aka Esther aka Louisa Ciccone aka Mad-Onna (my preferred name for her!) will even seek out solace from her very own achy breaky situation (DIVORCE) with furtive liplocks with female fans randomly chosen! 1001 female models keep on posing as fake dykes on every catwalk there is; virtually EVERY television show DESPERATE for a ratings-booster has given it a go and all the newest tarts in the music industry, à-la-Katy Perry, keep on kissing girls too (and in Kate's case in particular but in many other cases too, in doing so, they're "Hot'n'Cold" at the same time as a result? Katy is smarter than the norm, after all. But that is another story...!)
Face it, folks - it has lost its newness, its aura of "shock" much less "excitement" of any kind and we're definitely past the point of LESBIAN SATURATION now! It is a dying trend that has run out of gas and left most everyone BLASÉ about it, finally!
Gals, face it - you'll have to kiss a horse's ass now in order to get REAL MEDIATIC ATTENTION these days...! (Maybe the Democratic Ass will do...)
Note, bimbos and assorted dumb blondes, that I mean that simply figuratively and RHETORICALLY; don't go out actively trying to start this new trend on unsuspecting farm animals and at every ranch you know of, now...! (You gotta tell them; because, well, you never know...! These creatures are gullible and highly ``influenceable`` if you know what I`m screaming here - and I do mean the gals, not the farm animals! Plus this sort of new fad might spike up them barnyard brawls y`know, the phenomenon we spoke of here before - gotta be careful with what fires we stoke here...!)
BUT ENOUGH OF ALL THIS NOW, DAMMIT - THAT WAS NOT MY POINT NOR INTENT COMING HERE TODAY to finally update my venerable (and very funny, if I say so myself!) Loquacious Blog...!
I merely wanted to point out the surefire sign of the death of lesbian chic - after the debacle suffered at the ZOO! In Tokyo today, among other hair-raising news, we learned that zoo keepers made a boo-boo! In trying to have two polar bears mate, all they succeeded in doing was successfully create the first lesbian ursine couple! For, upon closer inspection, they noticed that BOTH bears were female indeed! No wonder they failed to conceive...! Ahh - don't you just love NATURE teaching the eggheads THE BASICS all over again... hmm?
It is a crying shame too because the rumor is the Japanese crew had truly done a bang-up job in creating just the right romantic atmosphere for the bears, who took to mating rituals like, uh, penguins to ice water! Too bad the results weren't there in the end, eh?
(If I didnt know any better, I'd say that the polar bears took the example of the Japanese population at large, who are all encouraged NOT to reproduce at all, since they already have a huge overpopulation problem over there that comes with smog sold separately! Lesbian and gay coupling is not only hoped for in Tokyo - it is strongly suggested to the citizens as THE solution to the problem, on a short-term basis at least..! Short-term here means a few DECADES, I guess... Hey, Asian atheists see not an end of the world looming on the horizon - ever! No matter how bad the smog is - and how poor (or next to NIL) the visibility is either! But I am digressing again... surely!)
Hmm...
Maybe I should have done this over at the LETHARGIC BLOG...?
Or perhaps the Luminous Pondering would have been more well-suited...?
Lambasting... Lambasting it should have been!!!
Oh well...!
In other P.W.O. news now... (POLAR WORLD ORDER - remember? Or A.W.O. - Arctic World Order, if you prefer! I've copyrighted BOTH anyway! TM and copyright Luciano Pimentel; ALL RIGHTS RESERVED - so there!)
After solving the failed mating lesbian bears mystery, we can be reminded that it's not the first one solved and it probably won't be the last one either! Pretty much exactly a year ago, another lingering mystery had been solved; this one involving PENGUINS AND POLAR BEARS! (What's lesbianism next to THAT, eh?)
The answer: penguins spend their holidays visiting!
Never mind applying for membership in the P.W.O. - DA ONLY WAY TO GO, YO!!!
(Maybe the A.W.O. is only for polar bears, walruses and seals? Oh, and the odd Arctic critter too... While the P.W.O. can be either the POLAR or PENGUIN WORLD ORDER...! Gotcha! MUCHO better than the old "nWo Black & White" and "nWo Wolfpac" separation/segregation, I say - it simply makes a hell of a lot more sense anyways!)
It is duly noted by ALL that both actresses have won OSCARS for their portrayal of lesbian-inclined dames already; Nicole in THE HOURS (for her turn as the tormented scribe Virginia Woolf who appeared to be smitten with a lady relative; it happened to Nelligan, too, only *he* was a *boy* - duh) and Charlize won for her part in MONSTER (the appropriately-titled biopic of the sordid events in the life of an even more tormented, wacko serial killer that I shall not name - see the film if you want, I wash my hands of that monstruosity; I am not sure Christina Ricci can) and so, therefore, that reuniting them as a COUPLE now is sort of a sapphic voyeur's secret fantasy come true...!
However, no, really now, I am NOT talking about ANY of that here...!
Nor am I about to embark on a loooooong diatribe in which I'll alternatively denounce and lament the tiredness surrounding the whole "lesbian chic mystique" - since EVERYBODY is doing it, even Lindsay Lohan is allegedly involved in a lesbian relationship, Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana is seen kissing girls in mock fashion - or are they real kisses? Keep teasing us all, Miley! Billy doesn't mind; as long as you keep on having more success than he ever did - it consoles his achy breaky heart, I'm sure! Madge aka Esther aka Louisa Ciccone aka Mad-Onna (my preferred name for her!) will even seek out solace from her very own achy breaky situation (DIVORCE) with furtive liplocks with female fans randomly chosen! 1001 female models keep on posing as fake dykes on every catwalk there is; virtually EVERY television show DESPERATE for a ratings-booster has given it a go and all the newest tarts in the music industry, à-la-Katy Perry, keep on kissing girls too (and in Kate's case in particular but in many other cases too, in doing so, they're "Hot'n'Cold" at the same time as a result? Katy is smarter than the norm, after all. But that is another story...!)
Face it, folks - it has lost its newness, its aura of "shock" much less "excitement" of any kind and we're definitely past the point of LESBIAN SATURATION now! It is a dying trend that has run out of gas and left most everyone BLASÉ about it, finally!
Gals, face it - you'll have to kiss a horse's ass now in order to get REAL MEDIATIC ATTENTION these days...! (Maybe the Democratic Ass will do...)
Note, bimbos and assorted dumb blondes, that I mean that simply figuratively and RHETORICALLY; don't go out actively trying to start this new trend on unsuspecting farm animals and at every ranch you know of, now...! (You gotta tell them; because, well, you never know...! These creatures are gullible and highly ``influenceable`` if you know what I`m screaming here - and I do mean the gals, not the farm animals! Plus this sort of new fad might spike up them barnyard brawls y`know, the phenomenon we spoke of here before - gotta be careful with what fires we stoke here...!)
BUT ENOUGH OF ALL THIS NOW, DAMMIT - THAT WAS NOT MY POINT NOR INTENT COMING HERE TODAY to finally update my venerable (and very funny, if I say so myself!) Loquacious Blog...!
I merely wanted to point out the surefire sign of the death of lesbian chic - after the debacle suffered at the ZOO! In Tokyo today, among other hair-raising news, we learned that zoo keepers made a boo-boo! In trying to have two polar bears mate, all they succeeded in doing was successfully create the first lesbian ursine couple! For, upon closer inspection, they noticed that BOTH bears were female indeed! No wonder they failed to conceive...! Ahh - don't you just love NATURE teaching the eggheads THE BASICS all over again... hmm?
It is a crying shame too because the rumor is the Japanese crew had truly done a bang-up job in creating just the right romantic atmosphere for the bears, who took to mating rituals like, uh, penguins to ice water! Too bad the results weren't there in the end, eh?
(If I didnt know any better, I'd say that the polar bears took the example of the Japanese population at large, who are all encouraged NOT to reproduce at all, since they already have a huge overpopulation problem over there that comes with smog sold separately! Lesbian and gay coupling is not only hoped for in Tokyo - it is strongly suggested to the citizens as THE solution to the problem, on a short-term basis at least..! Short-term here means a few DECADES, I guess... Hey, Asian atheists see not an end of the world looming on the horizon - ever! No matter how bad the smog is - and how poor (or next to NIL) the visibility is either! But I am digressing again... surely!)
Hmm...
Maybe I should have done this over at the LETHARGIC BLOG...?
Or perhaps the Luminous Pondering would have been more well-suited...?
Lambasting... Lambasting it should have been!!!
Oh well...!
In other P.W.O. news now... (POLAR WORLD ORDER - remember? Or A.W.O. - Arctic World Order, if you prefer! I've copyrighted BOTH anyway! TM and copyright Luciano Pimentel; ALL RIGHTS RESERVED - so there!)
After solving the failed mating lesbian bears mystery, we can be reminded that it's not the first one solved and it probably won't be the last one either! Pretty much exactly a year ago, another lingering mystery had been solved; this one involving PENGUINS AND POLAR BEARS! (What's lesbianism next to THAT, eh?)
The answer: penguins spend their holidays visiting!
Never mind applying for membership in the P.W.O. - DA ONLY WAY TO GO, YO!!!
(Maybe the A.W.O. is only for polar bears, walruses and seals? Oh, and the odd Arctic critter too... While the P.W.O. can be either the POLAR or PENGUIN WORLD ORDER...! Gotcha! MUCHO better than the old "nWo Black & White" and "nWo Wolfpac" separation/segregation, I say - it simply makes a hell of a lot more sense anyways!)
Yup - another mystery truly solved INDEED!
NEXT...
Don`t ask a polar bear...
Labels: Film world, Luminous Pundit Blogger Moi, Manistique Mystique, news, Parody, preview, TV, twits, Whoo-Oh
posted by Luminous (\ô/) Luciano™ at 1:48 PM
2 Comments:
Nicole Kidman to play transsexual in period drama
Sun Nov 9, 3:24 PM
By Gregg Goldstein
ADVERTISEMENT
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Nicole Kidman as the world's first post-op transsexual, married to Charlize Theron? You betcha.
The Australian actress will star in and produce "The Danish Girl," based on the true story of Danish artists Einar and Greta Wegener. Their marriage took a sharp left turn after Einar (Kidman) stood in for a female model that Greta (Theron) was set to paint.
When their portraits become wildly popular in 1920s Copenhagen, Greta encouraged her husband to adopt the female guise. What began as a harmless game led Einer to a metamorphosis and landmark 1931 operation that shocked the world and threatened their love.
Anand Tucker ("Shopgirl") is attached to direct the feature, adapted by writer Lucinda Coxon ("Wild Target") from David Ebershoff's 2000 Viking bestseller. His debut novel of the same name is a fictionalized account of the Wegeners' true story.
Pre-production has begun on the indie film, but no details on a principal photography start date have been disclosed.
Both Kidman and Theron earned their best actress Oscars playing lesbian characters, in "The Hours" and "Monster," respectively. Additionally, Kidman is attached to play Dusty Springfield in a biopic about the bisexual English singer.
Reuters/Hollywood Reporter
Japan zoo mistakenly set up 2 female polar bears
November 26, 2008
BY ASSOCIATED PRESS
TOKYO---- Japanese zookeepers have wondered for a while why two polar bears that they had hoped would mate have shown little interest in each other.
The answer came this month when the zoo discovered both the bears were female, the zoo said Wednesday.
Tsuyoshi, a 4-year-old polar bear, and 11-year-old Kurumi have been living in the same enclosure at the Kushiro Municipal Zoo in Hokkaido in northern Japan since June.
The zoo said it thought Tsuyoshi was male because of the bear's appearance. It did not explain further. Male polar bears are generally significantly larger than females.
''Observing his behaviors, we got suspicious as to whether Tsuyoshi was really a male,'' the zoo said in a statement Wednesday.
Experts say when polar bears are young, it is difficult to determine their sex because their long hair covers their reproductive organs. Tsuyoshi was determined to be male at 3 months old.
But earlier this month, the zoo put Tsuyoshi under an anesthetic and learned he was a she.
''I have mixed feelings considering the need for breeding,'' said Yoshio Yamaguchi, head of the zoo.
Tsuyoshi is very popular with visitors, and Kyodo News agency said the bear would keep her name, even though Tsuyoshi is a common Japanese name for boys.
Copyright 2008 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
HEY -
FREE SHARING OF THE NEWS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES IS NOT COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT, OK?
And the educational part here is: know your gender, kiddies!
;)
It is only honesty at work to show one's sources for one's blogging, too...
And besides, you're going to yank off the news article before soon, AP... Making ANY hyperlink to it invalid and thus invalidating your own PURPOSE AND MISSION - WHICH IS TO MAKE THE NEWS AVAILABLE TO THE MASSES, ALWAYS...!
Once again, 'nuff said!
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