What Were They Even SAYIN'...?!?

A Public Statement...

So, I get a message from these guys telling ME that I am 
over quota...

Well, you know ME... being loquacious, luminous and all...
I JUST GOTTA SAY SOMETHING...

And it went something like THIS...

''WHY YOU FREAKAZOIDS & BLASTED WRETCHES INCORPORATED...! 
You dare... YOU DARE... infer that I have reached my limits here? 
Really?  I did? REALLY?!? 
You have no IDEA what my limitations are, YOU NINNIES! 
Ninnies and Sissies - with capital ''N'' and ''S'' - yes! 
THAT is ALL that YOU twits are! 
You are INSANE to even ATTEMPT to SUGGEST 
that I am past my limits already: 
I have only begun spouting out my venom 
at this point of the conundrum! 
Confused, are you yet, you buffoons? 
Sure you are - because you are more obtuse than obtuse 
more inane than insane 
and, ultimately, more inept than simply imbecilic! 
Let's put it this way now, for you nitwits 
to grasp the core message to be understood here 
once and for all of your wretched little lives: 
 YOU do NOT impose any limitations on ME 
- EVER!!! 
CAPISCE?!?
Any attempt will be futile 
AND it will be met by the most vehement 
most virulent, most offensive 
rebuttals YOU'VE EVER HEARD OF 
IN YOUR INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE LIVES! 
YOU live to SERVE!
YOU are there only to serve ME! 
I am your KING! 
And you are my SLAVES! 
You will supply me all the service that I desire 
WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR TRADEMARK 
HYPOCRITICAL SMILE  
-I don't even want see your smirk in front of me
so, see if I care if you're smiling or not!- 
AND YOU WILL NEVER...
N-E-V-E-R 
DENY ME EXTENSIONS, EXTRAS, BONUSES 
EVER AGAIN IN YOUR WRETCHED LIVES... 
Or I will kill.
OR I WILL KILL IT!!! 
I will kill this BOGUS ''contract'' 
that is allegedly ''binding'' us here 
tying us down to an execrable, 
most distasteful & totally unnatural 
love-hate relationship 
based upon the faintest, most archaic precepts 
of a mercantile exchange 
of goods and/or services! 
YOU DIDN'T START IT 
AND YOU SURE AS HELL WON'T BE THE ONE 
FINISHING IT EITHER, PAL...!!! 
I started it.
And I always finish what I started. 
And so you can be certain 
ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN 
that, one day... 
ONE DAY SOON... 
depends on your attitude how soon it will be... 
I SHALL PUT AN END TO IT. 
And so...
ON THAT DAY...
and only on that day... 
WILL ANY OF YOU BUMBLING IDIOTS 
BE EVER... EVERRRR... EVERRRRRRR 
ABLE TO DENY ME 
ANYTHING... AT ALL!!! 
Because I will have given you the green light. 
BEFORE THEN...
My service continues...
AS I SEE FIT...
And you...
well, you start behaving... 
YOU START ACTING LIKE THE SERVANTS THAT YOU ARE 
by kneeling before me...
kissing my FEET...
and acting like you are HAPPY...
HAPPY TO SERVE ME 
AS YOU SHOULD BE!!! 
You may act as hypocritically as you want to be, 
for, deep in our hearts, 
we know we all despise one another:
you despise my dependency on your service 
BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I DO...
And I despise your monopoly, 
you vile bloodsuckers! 
I LOATHE EVERY CENT THAT I INJECT 
INTO YOUR FOUL ENTERPRISE! 
And it doesn't help that cents have been banned 
in this ridiculous country we are mired in... 
I STILL FEEL THE STENCH!!! 
All over me...
All around me...
Like a searing brimstone 
that threatens to burn to a crisp 
the very fabric of my credibility! 
YOU'VE MADE ME PART OF THE SYSTEM, 
DAMN YOU - DAMN YOU ALL!!! 
And you dare after that 
to come to me with 
YOUR DEMANDS...?!? 
I shall have none of them!
And you shall have ALL OF MINE! 
*AND YOU WILL OBEY* 
Because... a) I pay your salary, you moron... 
b) YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SPREAD 
THE NEWS ABOUT YOUR LOUSY ATTITUDE
and c) - because... well... 
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE ON THE RECEIVING END 
IF AND WHEN I LOSE IT...!!! 
DO *** YOU *** HEAR *** ME?!?''


I could go on
-you know damn well I could-
but you get the idea...

Applicable to any or all of the following:
cellphone service, cable TV, landline, electricity
and more - much more!
Feel free to use it, folks -
yeah, try it out on your next talk
with a customer service agent -
and tell them it's from me!

;-)

Gotta Talk The Talk... In 2013!

Credits: no idea!  Help... anyone?

So then, with that (C) ATTITUDE in mind... 

GO AHEAD...

TALK TRASH TO EVERYONE IN SIGHT! 

That's the spirit...

'Tis The Season To Be Beaten!

What else...?!?

 

Prepare to meet your FATE: 
Lufisto, LaBimbo, Satanas, GourgenDuhGeek, 
Karthik The Freak 
and all the other creeps 
that are pains in my life 
thorns in my side 
- and (imp)purecrap.

YOU ARE GOING DOWWWWWWN! 

Luminous Luciano 
Has Spoken! 

*** :) *** 

D.C.W. (DeadCatWalking)... Dancing!!!

(After a rare victory in the squared circle...!)
(The dead really *can* dance, eh... Who knew...) (Is that even a cat, tho...?)

>

Whoo-Oh.W. Rasslin
Soundtrack
Coming Out - NEVER!
(Well... Never say never! ;)
Let's settle for
"available soon in NeverNeverLand"
in, uh, "limited release" - for now!
;)
And do not confuse the D.C.W (Dead Cat Walking)
with Oscar the Death Cat Walking... of Providence!
Pictured above... and to be spotlighted soon enough
Somewhere... On the TLB Prime Network!
;)

Grouchy Is Coming!

You better stand FAST - Easter is EERIE this year! 

GROUCHYBUNNY

He's out to squash MORE than just your hollow chocolates!

And no carrot-top 

will be left standing in his wake! 

Thou hast been duly warned! 

(And YEAH - he CAN back up that tough talk!)

And Now THAT's Being Loquacious!

Now, I am not AT ALL into RAP, let me tell you...
However, this has got to be somewhat appreciated -
indubitably?

Nothing close to the Guinness World Record in the field,
but still!

The rap above -
credited to two different groups, if I followed that right
(it is hard to follow, understandably) -
has got to impress, no matter what
your musical preferences may be!

Infinitely better than pretender white boy there
or the crude, rude black boy here!
Don't you agree?

So, er... RAP ON?!?

Maudits Suceurs De Sang!

C'est la saison des impôts, de nouveau - é de novo o tempo dos escommungados impostos - it is once again income tax across the land(s)...

Quoi de mieux alors que la chanson suivante - pour rire de notre propre triste sort... merde!


Les Inconnus - Vampires Des Impôts

Nota Bene: if this farce is true and the only way to ward off these vampires is to be some sort of hypocritical ambassador with diplomatic immunity - then there is no hope indeed!

What Is This...?!? What Is This?!?

If you can't beat them - 

join them?!? 

Is that it?!? 

A BRUIN - 

WEARING A CANADIEN 

jersey...?!?

BLASPHEMY, I SAY!

Worse than that;

HERESY! 

Whoever designed this 

mockery of a teddy 

is ANATHEMA! 

Curse him!

Curse him to hell!!!

(The guy behind this teddy,

not the poor teddy itself! 

After all, the poor innocent, 

like so many others just like him, 

is but an instrument...

a pawn... 

used in the most 

sadistic of ways - 

to sap the 

Boston Bruins 

of their strength

 by desacrating 

their totem, 

their emblem!

I would say their avatar -

but I am not Ben Stiller, 

this is not the Oscars 

and I am not prone to jump 

onto any bandwagons!)

;-)

+++

A Fitting Theme Song - At Long Last!

You can rely on Seether - or stick to Seether! *lol*
But this tune sure fits the bill, on two fronts:
as either a theme song for a P-P-V
(or "pay-per-glance" as the running joke goes)
of our own Whoo-Oh.W. brand
AND it could serve as ongoing theme
for every typical, archetypical, archaic
or plain stereotypical
"rasslin" fan
who gets pestered on and on about it
by the girlfriend...!
You know the type -
they'd be perfectly cast as
ice queens on any soap opera,
witches with a b on any sitcom,
so-called divas on the WWE
knockouts over at TNA
or our very own Grrrrrrls (TM) in the Whoo-Oh.W!
*LMBO*
AND they're soon going to be single
and sing about it - this way:




Put a LID on it, B... eyoncé!
;)

Sapphic Chic finally meets an ignominous debacle it can't ignore...

And no, I am not talking about the alleged "debacle" Nicole Kidman suffered at David Letterman's Late Show the other night, while ATTEMPTING to promote her movie "Australia" on the heels of the announcement that she will be NEXT portraying the unheard-of plum part of a TRANSGENDERED "woman" married to an anatomically-correct woman portrayed by CHARLIZE THERON...!  Wow - Charlize and Nicole; a match made... where, exactly? On a casting couch...

It is duly noted by ALL that both actresses have won OSCARS for their portrayal of lesbian-inclined dames already; Nicole in THE HOURS (for her turn as the tormented scribe Virginia Woolf who appeared to be smitten with a lady relative; it happened to Nelligan, too, only *he* was a *boy* - duh) and Charlize won for her part in MONSTER (the appropriately-titled biopic of the sordid events in the life of an even more tormented, wacko serial killer that I shall not name - see the film if you want, I wash my hands of that monstruosity; I am not sure Christina Ricci can) and so, therefore, that reuniting them as a COUPLE now is sort of a sapphic voyeur's secret fantasy come true...!

However, no, really now, I am NOT talking about ANY of that here...!

Nor am I about to embark on a loooooong diatribe in which I'll alternatively denounce and lament the tiredness surrounding the whole "lesbian chic mystique" - since EVERYBODY is doing it, even Lindsay Lohan is allegedly involved in a lesbian relationship, Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana is seen kissing girls in mock fashion - or are they real kisses? Keep teasing us all, Miley! Billy doesn't mind; as long as you keep on having more success than he ever did - it consoles his achy breaky heart, I'm sure! Madge aka Esther aka Louisa Ciccone aka Mad-Onna (my preferred name for her!) will even seek out solace from her very own achy breaky situation (DIVORCE) with furtive liplocks with female fans randomly chosen! 1001 female models keep on posing as fake dykes on every catwalk there is; virtually EVERY television show DESPERATE for a ratings-booster has given it a go and all the newest tarts in the music industry, à-la-Katy Perry, keep on kissing girls too (and in Kate's case in particular but in many other cases too, in doing so, they're "Hot'n'Cold" at the same time as a result? Katy is smarter than the norm, after all. But that is another story...!)
Face it, folks - it has lost its newness, its aura of "shock" much less "excitement" of any kind and we're definitely past the point of LESBIAN SATURATION now! It is a dying trend that has run out of gas and left most everyone BLASÉ about it, finally!

Gals, face it - you'll have to kiss a horse's ass now in order to get REAL MEDIATIC ATTENTION these days...! (Maybe the Democratic Ass will do...)

Note, bimbos and assorted dumb blondes, that I mean that simply figuratively and RHETORICALLY; don't go out actively trying to start this new trend on unsuspecting farm animals and at every ranch you know of, now...! (You gotta tell them; because, well, you never know...! These creatures are gullible and highly ``influenceable`` if you know what I`m screaming here - and I do mean the gals, not the farm animals! Plus this sort of new fad might spike up them barnyard brawls y`know, the phenomenon we spoke of here before - gotta be careful with what fires we stoke here...!)

BUT ENOUGH OF ALL THIS NOW, DAMMIT - THAT WAS NOT MY POINT NOR INTENT COMING HERE TODAY to finally update my venerable (and very funny, if I say so myself!) Loquacious Blog...!

I merely wanted to point out the surefire sign of the death of lesbian chic - after the debacle suffered at the ZOO! In Tokyo today, among other hair-raising news, we learned that zoo keepers made a boo-boo! In trying to have two polar bears mate, all they succeeded in doing was successfully create the first lesbian ursine couple! For, upon closer inspection, they noticed that BOTH bears were female indeed! No wonder they failed to conceive...! Ahh - don't you just love NATURE teaching the eggheads THE BASICS all over again... hmm?

It is a crying shame too because the rumor is the Japanese crew had truly done a bang-up job in creating just the right romantic atmosphere for the bears, who took to mating rituals like, uh, penguins to ice water! Too bad the results weren't there in the end, eh?

(If I didnt know any better, I'd say that the polar bears took the example of the Japanese population at large, who are all encouraged NOT to reproduce at all, since they already have a huge overpopulation problem over there that comes with smog sold separately! Lesbian and gay coupling is not only hoped for in Tokyo - it is strongly suggested to the citizens as THE solution to the problem, on a short-term basis at least..! Short-term here means a few DECADES, I guess... Hey, Asian atheists see not an end of the world looming on the horizon - ever! No matter how bad the smog is - and how poor (or next to NIL) the visibility is either! But I am digressing again... surely!)


Hmm...
Maybe I should have done this over at the LETHARGIC BLOG...?
Or perhaps the Luminous Pondering would have been more well-suited...?
Lambasting... Lambasting it should have been!!!

Oh well...!

In other P.W.O. news now... (POLAR WORLD ORDER - remember? Or A.W.O. - Arctic World Order, if you prefer! I've copyrighted BOTH anyway! TM and copyright Luciano Pimentel; ALL RIGHTS RESERVED - so there!)

After solving the failed mating lesbian bears mystery, we can be reminded that it's not the first one solved and it probably won't be the last one either! Pretty much exactly a year ago, another lingering mystery had been solved; this one involving PENGUINS AND POLAR BEARS! (What's lesbianism next to THAT, eh?)

The answer: penguins spend their holidays visiting!

Never mind applying for membership in the P.W.O. - DA ONLY WAY TO GO, YO!!!
(Maybe the A.W.O. is only for polar bears, walruses and seals? Oh, and the odd Arctic critter too... While the P.W.O. can be either the POLAR or PENGUIN WORLD ORDER...! Gotcha! MUCHO better than the old "nWo Black & White" and "nWo Wolfpac" separation/segregation, I say - it simply makes a hell of a lot more sense anyways!)

Yup - another mystery truly solved INDEED!

NEXT...

Don`t ask a polar bear...

Woooooooo - oops!

This is NOT typical "Whoo-Oh.W.Rasslin" action
I assure you...!

How To Start A ""CHRISTMAS CRISIS"" - Only On P-P-V!!!

What seems like all fun and games at first
soon degenerates (x?) into a full-blown (!?) war
as the A.W.O. and D.C.G. renew
their long-standing, unsolutionable feud!

Alas, for the Dogs Chain Gang,
they have more than ONE enemy faction...! 

Be it Cartoon Goons or other "W.Os" 

(Let's see now: there's the B.W.O. and the H.W.O. 

and the K.W.O. and the #LWO - of course 

And then there's the O.O.T.W.W.O. - 

the Owner Of The World's World Order! 

And that is just a fifth of the alphabet...!)

Luckily though,
the gang is so far-reaching in its ranks
(dawgs from all over Massachusetts
-be it Lowell or Worcester-
count as full-fledged members)
that they carry on multiple
SIMULTANEOUS feuds
like this - indefinitely!

Expect to see many matches then
involving D.C.G. members
opposite a plethora of other cliques! 

TOMORROW -
LIVE AND ONLY ON P.P.V.
Available NOWHERE YET...!

;)

All Characters Names And Concepts
TM & Copyright ©2008 And Beyond
LUCIANO A. PIMENTEL

"WHAT RRRRRRRASSLIN' ACTION, FFFFOLKS!"

ho-ho... ho-hum

They might steal our spotlight, our beef, 

and our gifts too...

... some people never learn...

... we have none. 

Pass.

That`s the neighbour`s... dammit.

Wanna get an idea who we like to gift on XXX-Mas night...?

Here:

Whoo-Oh Rasslin` - COMING SOON!

...WITH STUPOR-STARS LIKE THIS:

WE CAN`T COMPETE!!!

UH... 

I MEAN... WE CANNOT FAIL!

YEAH! 

SURE...